I am often asked about ‘executive presence’ – that ability to enter a room and instantly convey the feeling that you are in charge. One of the best examples of I have ever seen, happens to have come from one of the most senior women in the British Army.
The myth of the natural leader
I say happens to but I’m not sure that there is a coincidence here. I don’t subscribe to the myth of the ‘natural leader’. Do they exist – of course but in my experience, they have simply learned, often subconsciously, a series of habits that can easily be taught. Admittedly they can then take a lifetime to master.
The problem with the ‘natural leader’ and their subconscious habits is that they quite literally don’t know what they are doing. Not only can they not teach it but also, they can’t stop it if they have got it wrong and failed to ‘read the room’. A lot of these habits are taught at traditional schools and are by their nature suited to that environment – often white, male and middle class – which is less and less relevant in today’s workforce.
If you really want to learn something look at someone who has had to learn it for themselves, by making it a deliberate skill they appreciate it, work on it and refine it. Most of the female leaders I have seen have developed a style of taking charge, often without words and in a way that looked effortless. None more so than a female officer addressing a group of infantry soldiers.
When you’re the leader even a small thing will get noticed
Not only are soldiers possibly the least ‘woke’ group of men and women you will find but this was back in the 1990’s when both female soldiers and the word woke were equally rare. So, I sat with a group of 60 or so squaddies waiting to meet the most senior woman in the British Army at that time – a Brigadier. OK, not technically a general in the UK but she would merit a general’s star in the US and NATO.
She walks into the room; we sit to attention (yes that’s a thing) and begins her introductory remarks whilst removing her combat jacket and casually handing it to our Commanding Officer who dutifully holds it for the duration of her talk.
In most infantry units the CO is the Big Boss, yes there are sergeants and sergeant majors as well as a wealth of officers – lieutenants, captains, majors etc but the top of that tree is the colonel. In one simple gesture she has reduced our boss to her assistant. It wasn’t rude, demeaning and didn’t undermine him in any way – it just silently and elegantly said I’m in charge. Pay attention to me.
It worked.
Not only did she hold the room’s attention, but I remember it over 25 years later. I never got to ask how conscious a move it was, but I imagine it was one of many small gestures she had developed over the years to ‘cope’ with leading soldiers.
What’s your move?
Of course, she shouldn’t have needed the gesture, she was a brigadier one step below a major-general and a very senior officer regardless of her gender. In the same way today, it shouldn’t be assumed that you are not the leader because of your age, your gender or any other subconscious bias but the reality is that some people will make that mistake and the very best leaders have developed skills to remove any doubt in a few seconds.
Sitting at the head of the table, wearing clothes that are obviously more expensive than everyone else (or if the team are head to toe in brands the leader turns up in an M&S cardigan). I have seen everything from designer bags and watches to a CEO who brought dogs to a meeting. The trick is to make it subtle and comfortable for you – don’t be the newly appointed marketing director who had a loud three-piece suit hand made for him and wore it on his first day – more Coco the Clown than Coco Channel and I imagine not a good look in the job centre a few months later.